ATTENTION INMATES.
The Warden has approved a new uniform. Resistance is not only futile — it is also scheduled for 4 sets of 5 and must be logged in the training journal.
The Iron Gang Fitness Ultra Violent Training Tee is your court-mandated fitness sentence. Front: a full-color cartoon riot of skulls, barbells, chains, explosions, robots, roosters, and at least one man who has clearly been training since before consequences existed. Back: three words cast in cracked black iron — ULTRA VIOLENT TRAINING — because calling it a "workout" is a violation punishable by 100 burpees and loss of canteen privileges.
This shirt is what happens when the prison gym gets unsupervised access to a barbell and no one checks on it for six years. The characters on the front have not passed a movement screen. They do not care. They are already warming up. One of them is on a treadmill with a chicken. Do not ask questions.
Wear it when:
You are about to lift something unreasonable
You want people to assume you have a sentence to serve
The pre-workout has fully activated and verbal communication is no longer possible
You need the general public to understand that your training philosophy is "more"
Iron Gang Fitness takes no responsibility for PRs broken, fear inspired, or chaos caused while wearing this garment. The Warden is pleased.
ATTENTION INMATES.
The Warden has approved a new uniform. Resistance is not only futile — it is also scheduled for 4 sets of 5 and must be logged in the training journal.
The Iron Gang Fitness Ultra Violent Training Tee is your court-mandated fitness sentence. Front: a full-color cartoon riot of skulls, barbells, chains, explosions, robots, roosters, and at least one man who has clearly been training since before consequences existed. Back: three words cast in cracked black iron — ULTRA VIOLENT TRAINING — because calling it a "workout" is a violation punishable by 100 burpees and loss of canteen privileges.
This shirt is what happens when the prison gym gets unsupervised access to a barbell and no one checks on it for six years. The characters on the front have not passed a movement screen. They do not care. They are already warming up. One of them is on a treadmill with a chicken. Do not ask questions.
Wear it when:
You are about to lift something unreasonable
You want people to assume you have a sentence to serve
The pre-workout has fully activated and verbal communication is no longer possible
You need the general public to understand that your training philosophy is "more"
Iron Gang Fitness takes no responsibility for PRs broken, fear inspired, or chaos caused while wearing this garment. The Warden is pleased.
